Laying blame
Teresa M Shafer - For books that kindle thought and ignite the imagination!
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Laying blame

Well, I was going to give you guys the next chapter of my book today but, something came up and started me to thinking.
 
You know that I am part of the ELI Group that champions the rights of children. Well today was Elijah's birthday. He would have been three today had he lived. But, he was beaten to death by his babysitter. It was this memory, thought, that was going through my mind when an unwelcome thought surfaced. I wondered what little Elijah did that made that evil woman beat him. What started the torture that she inflicted upon his tender 10 month old flesh? Was he crying? Did he want his mommy? Did he interrupt her favorite TV show? Does it matter?
 
A few weeks ago someone tried to break into my car. They were unsuccessful, but they damaged my vehicle. When I reported it the first question out of the mouth of the person that I was telling was, did you leave something in there that they might have wanted? I was indignant when asked that question. "It's my car. I should be able to leave whatever I want in it without fearing some idiot wanting to break in and take it." That question however, is common... even standard practice. Is it my fault for leaving something nice in my car?
 
Rape victims often hear a similar question when they report the attack, were you wearing provocative clothing? Were you flirting? Were you teasing? Did you provoke him? Should it matter?
 
What is wrong with all of these scenarios? In all of these situations the victim is shouldering the blame for the actions of another. But, it is not the intention of most people to insinuate blame... they dont want to blame the victim. It is not what they want... it used to be. But not in today's environment. Eli could not have done anything so horrendous that he deserved to be beaten to death by a full grown woman. The very thought of it is ludicrous. He was a baby. How could he have done anything to deserve such a thing. Yet, the question does come to mind. What made the woman snap? Perhaps a better question is: What made her think that this was going to be acceptable? What she did indicates rage, personal rage.... at a baby, that was not her own.
 
Still why do people, including me, feel the need to somehow find reason behind such things? Is it because we have trouble reconciling such horrendous behavior? Do we simply find it hard to believe that a person is capable of such an inhuman act? Brutilizing women and children is not the sign of a sane mind, and yet we try to understand the behavior within the confines of a sane explanation. This may be why we ask such questions.
 
There are those that do ask those questions because they believe that the victims are responsible for abnormal behavior. It maybe that these people do not think normally. Perhaps they too are abnormal and have abnormal desires.
 
I know one thing, I am not responsible for anyone's actions but my own. I refuse to take responsibility for some idiot that wants to steal from me. I certainly will not take responsibility for someone that tries to hurt me in any manner. In like manner I do not think that anyone should shoulder the blame for the actions of another. I will qualify that last comment. If you want to take the fall for someone that is your choice, but never let it be forced upon you and never force it on another.
 
As for baby Eli, I know that his soul will return for another chance. I am sorry that my friend, his mother Keia, will probably never know the person that Eli will be some day. She may never know what purpose will be made of his tragic death. Perhaps in the end, when this heaven and earth are gone, she will be told, perhaps then she will meet and know the soul that for such a short time lived as her child. That would be, in my mind, an appropriate ending to this story. Until then, I will try in this life to help to save others, like Eli from suffering his fate.
 
Anyway, that's what was on my mind today.
 
Live well and be good to each other.

1 Comment to Laying blame:

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