I was witness recently, to something that has always struck me as odd, but now I think that I know why it strikes me so. Here's the situation, two nice looking women are socializing. They are well dressed, both are wearing makeup and nail polish. In short they are feminine in appearance. They are both wearing nice diamond wedding rings and it is clear that they are a couple. A man that they clearly do not know approaches them. He asks them, "Which one of you is the man?"
As I said, this question has always bothered me. First of all, it's intrusive. I don't care if a stranger or your father asks it, it's intrusive. It is no-one's business. What happens between partners, is between partners and nobody else. Secondly, it is assumptive. It assumes that the women are roll playing. Which whether or not... it's no-one's business. But, all of this not withstanding, I think that I have finally figured out why this particular question has always bothered me so personally. This question is almost always either asked by a man or initiated by a man. I think that it comes from a very primal part of a man's psyche. Basically a man cannot imagine that a woman can be complete without a male at their side. So, lacking a man, one of the women must be acting as the man in the relationship. Suffice it to say that man still does not understand woman.
Woman enjoys sex on two different levels, physically and emotionally. Where man generally focus on only the physical. This is just one level in which men do not understand women. It is understandable that they would not understand a lesbian pairing. Other than for reproduction, women can live quite well without men. Men on the other hand need the presence of women, and it has nothing to do with reproduction, but it has everything to do with sex.
Through the centuries women have been subjugated by men. Man has a great driving desire to be in charge, to be the god of their world. Women were subjugated mostly because physically they could not fight back. Many want to blame the Bible for the subjugation, but if we actually read what the Bible says... a male convinced a woman that eating of the fruit was alright. The woman took the argument to her man. He had no clue how to handle the situation. Woman took matters into her own hands and handed her man a piece of fruit. He ate it, so she followed his lead and ate also. How is any of that woman's fault?
The Church contends that the original sin was the fault of woman. I contend that they are wrong. Remember that the tree that they ate of made them as gods. Both of them. Not just the man. The woman also is like a god. To dismiss this is and has been, detrimental. Because of their subjugation woman has needed to work from the shadows and essentially allow men to think that it was all their idea. Now days women are coming of age finally, still we have Neanderthal comments by men to lesbians. Why is this still the case?
To men the concept of a lesbian is confusing. Is this lesbian a woman or part man? Is she to be treated as an equal, like a man, or like a woman, i.e. not as an equal. In their eyes a man must be in the mix or the women are incomplete. It's stupid, but it is how it is. I wonder, do they ask a similar question of gay men? Hmmm... I've never heard one, but the way that the minority that is straight men view their equally minority fully gay counterparts is less than civilized. Although gay men are just as disgusted at the though of making love to a woman as straight men are at the thought of making love to a man. Those in the middle, which is the vast overwhelming majority, tend to find both of them laughable.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Speaking of thoughts, I have been trying to keep up with the comments. Again if I miss you, it is not by design. Your comments are coming up all over the place, as far back as posts made a year ago.
Live well and be good to each other.