Well now, I have had a really bad month. But, I will not bore you with the details. It has been effecting my time and ability to write here on my blog, and for that I am extremely sorry. That being said... I realized something the other day. I was really upset, I was holding back the tears. It was a really rotten day and absolutely nothing was going right. Through all of the personal turmoil a scenario kept running through my mind. It was not a scenario that involved me, it involved Cali. I know right... with my life in utter turmoil how could I be thinking of one of my characters? I have no idea... that's the only answer that I have. Except the say that when I gave up and sat down and started writing, my problems dropped away. They fell off of me like sheets of water during a hot summer day. My mind quickly immersed itself into Cali's world and nothing else existed.
I should tell you that prior to this, I had not been sleeping or eating. My life was a mess. But when I started writing, suddenly I was hungry. So, I got some food and while I wrote, I ate. It wasn't much, a few bits of meat and cheese with a tortilla. But, it was more than I had eaten in a while.
The hours melted away and two full chapters of my new Calisto adventure were thrown onto paper. Even a title came to me, The Look of Evil. I thought that it was time for Cali to return to catching bad guys and move away from her own personal problems. Not that a few won't crop up, but for the most part this book will be about solving a crime, and unlike my previous books, she will face a female, maybe even two. I haven't decided yet.
The point is, writing took me out of my problems and allowed my mind to rest and my body to reboot. I still didn't sleep at all until last night. When I awoke today, I felt heavy as if I had slept for a month. In retrospect, it did kind of represent a month's worth of sleep. Still, today I feel like maybe there is a tomorrow that I can live with. It seems that writing has done what painting or drawing does for others... it lets them out of themselves long enough to gain perspective and refresh themselves.
Funny how I had pushed the scenario away for days, even weeks. I told myself that I didn't have time to write. I even told myself that I didn't want to work on another Cali book. Stupid me, never argue with your muse, because if you win... you lose. Hey that rhymed. Through this entire problem, which still looms in the horizon, I never stopped going forward, but I was not moving very fast. Now at least I do see a murky ending to the tunnel. Now I just have to stay the course to get there.
I did not want to burden you with my problems and yet I have.
The dilemma of women getting different punishments than their male counterparts is still heavily on my mind. It is something that I will address in The Look of Evil. I have decided that if I can I will try to address some of the odd inconsistencies of Police work in these books, but it is still about Cali the abused girl that is trying to cope with life. I cannot lose sight of that.
I will have book #3 The Death Collectors, out by Christmas. I'm still having trouble finding the right picture for the front cover. I think that next week I might take my camera out on a day trip to Virginia City again. Maybe I can find inspiration there.
Anyway, I would love to chat longer but, I must get ready for work. I just wanted to touch bases with you and let you know that I'm still here, just a little distracted.
Live well and be good to each other.