Wow! Has it really been so long since I have written? Life travels by so fast when you are doing things and having fun. Most of you know that I moved. That alone was quite the adventure. You never know just how much you have accumulated until you try to move it... holy cow do I need to downsize!
But, that is not what I wanted to talk about today... in this past month I have once again found my creativity and my muse was once again able to break through the mental barriers that I had erected. Funny how fear can create its own walls. Those walls can block out just about everything. I have been having some financial difficulties and that can cause a lot of fear and that fear blocks any kind of creativity. It is hard to relax and imagine different worlds and stories when you are worried or afraid.
So, even though I am still having some difficulty with money, I found a way to push that worry aside and write once again. How did I manage that little trick you ask? Well... there is this movie that pulls my imagination out and allows it to dream. I saw the movie now about 20-25 times. I know nearly every line and song in it... yes it's a musical, and it is a cartoon. But, something about it spoke to my creative side. The movie is Disney's Frozen. Frozen is Disney's re-imagine of Hans Christian Anderson's "Ice Queen". Disney's idea gives Elsa, the Queen, a reason for her out of control powers, and in fact directly addresses fear and how it can manipulate and control your life.
In the story, fear nearly destroys everything that Elsa loves, including her own sister. Of course Disney's solution is for Elsa's sister, Anna to perform an act of unconditional love that not only thaws the ice but also gives Elsa a solution for fear, which of course is love. As simplistic as this sounds, it is correct. Love is a stronger emotion than fear, but fear can be crippling and can in fact lock up a person so tightly that love cannot get inside. When this happens, reason or external love must take over and crack the lock that fear will get on a person's life.
In my life, fear had taken over and was locking me down pretty hard. The movie helped me to remember that fear is an empty emotion that is generally based on itself. One fear leads to another and before you know it your entire life is ruled by fear. In my case I feared not being able to pay a bill. That led to another fear and then another. Before I knew it the fear of not having enough money ruled my life and because I feared it all so much I did not think or plan correctly and my fears became real. I did not have enough money. So now I have to take back control. Tomorrow the banks will be open and I will take back my life.
When I realized that my solution was a simple one, my fears began to break up. It was then that I realized that the fear had been affecting my health as well as my mind. Now I'm not saying that I am free of all of these fears, but I'm on the road to recovery. All of that being said, with my mind now freeing itself of all of that extra weight, I was able to once again write. I had not realized how long it had really been until I opened the file on my computer. The last time that I had written or even opened the file was in September of 2013. That time was stolen from me and I am now working hard to make up for losing it.
I sat down and finished the last few chapters of Cali's latest adventure. It was by far the most intense and complicated story that I have written about Cali to date. In the past several books, Cali has taken a problem and worked through it with very little help. In this latest adventure, I gave Cali a large team of people that severely confused the situation for her and the investigation. I used it to muddy the water and to give Cali something more to bounce her problems off of . It complicated the crime solving by having too many hands in the pot, but it gave Cali a chance to expand her leadership abilities.
There was very little ghost contact in this book. Cali's usual helpers were afraid of the being that she was tracking. So, there was a lot of simple Detective work in this book, mixed with a healthy dose of tech help and common sense. Of course at the end I gave it a bit of unexplainable creep factor as well.
The point is that it was fear of things that I actually can control that blocked up my creativity. Realizing that things were not out of my control was the first hurdle to dispelling that fear. The second hurdle gets jumped tomorrow. For the first time in a year, I am excited about tomorrow, not afraid of it.
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Live well and be good to each other.