Cowards and trying on shoes
Teresa M Shafer - For books that kindle thought and ignite the imagination!
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Cowards and trying on shoes

It has been a while since I have written. I won't make any excuses. I will say that it has been a long road for me but, I am finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. 

During my hiatus I couldn't help but notice the chaff that blew away in the wind storm that surrounded me for these many months. More than the obvious departure of so many so called caring individuals, I noticed that more than a few of them utilized social media, specifically Facebook to air some aggression in my direction. It was all done passively of course, in a manner that silently says "If the shoe fits".

On one hand the shoe can fit, if I had somehow deliberately deserted a person for something or worse yet, someone else. I suppose in a twisted way I did abandon many in favor of one person, myself, but that hardly qualifies as a betrayal of friendship or worse, a type of cheating. Still, I have found that several persons have taken the low road and decided that focusing on ones self without sharing every sorted detail with them, was in fact a massive betrayal, which requires repercussions even if they are delivered in a passive aggressive way on a public website. 

It has always been my opinion that passive aggression is the hallmark of a coward, either say what you are going to say to the person that you feel has wronged you, or shut up and deal with it silently. That being said, it seems that so many of these little sayings that are meant to be shared on sites like Facebook are exactly that, a passive aggressive dig designed to elicit 'likes' from like minded cowards. This only serves to further encourage this cowardly method of venting by reinforcing that 'yes there are other cowards that share in your cowardly practice'. 

I know by venting here it sounds like I am also one of these cowards, perhaps even more so since I am venting my displeasure on a private site. Rest assured that I have called these people on their private phones, since I cannot see them face to face, to discuss their actions. It didn't do any good, the idiotic 'sayings' only increased and the 'like' count for said postings has only increased, helping them to validate their cowardly behavior. 

I met one such individual on line. She and I have never met, and yet somewhere down the line she got it into her head that we were destined to be together. In her mind she had constructed a living breathing relationship with me, and had told all of her friends and family that we were more than the acquaintances that we are. So, when my life became a rat race that I needed to tend to without unnecessary distractions (this meant that I could not call her every day, she never called me, but became despondent if I did not call her), she began acting like a jilted lover. When I recognized this reaction I called her and asked her exactly what she was thinking... then I had to set her straight. This only elicited a stronger reaction, one thing led to another and now she is acting like we had a bad break up. The 'sayings' have gone from 'You're a worthless piece of shit' to 'You don't deserve me' and back again with lots of whining in between. Mind you, I've never met this woman and I never led her on. Now I really wonder what it was about her that caused me to start talking to her in the first place. 

At any rate, I digress. This entire incident with me is only a symptom of a greater problem. Social media sites have their uses, and don't get me wrong, I do utilize them for my own means, as does everyone else, however, there is a point where writing and cutting and pasting your feelings and messages on a public site becomes excessive. Point in fact, I work with a couple of young adults that have lived their entire lives immersed inside of the cyber world. This makes them very computer savoy and completely socially inept. In the cyber world, you see words, you imagine meaning and inflection. You never actually hear anger, fear, love or sarcasm, so when you hear someone speak and actually hear the intonations and see the facial expressions, you react differently, or you should. 

One of the youngsters was watching a movie with me. She became angry during the movie because the heroine did not reload her gun often enough, i.e. it was not realistic. I stopped the movie and said, "The movie is about Vampires and Werewolves, how realistic do you think it should be?" 

"It should be more realistic. You have to reload." 

"Seriously? She just used a glass round, filled with liquid silver to shoot out a window so she could run from the werewolves, and you're worried about how often she reloads? Have you never encountered sarcasm before? The handgun fires like a machine gun... She's a Vampire shooting at Werewolves... and what cop show have you ever seen where they actually reload when they are supposed to? It's sarcasm at its very best."

It took her a while to wrap her head around it and decided that it wasn't for her. 

This didn't surprise me. Those that use the computer to communicate their emotions and feelings are partially emotionally dull. They don't know real feelings when they encounter them, and the subtleties of speech are lost on them. 

The clip and paste or share mentality of social media has replaced actually sharing your real feelings. Now they need not even compose the words, they need only find something that comes close and 'share' it with the word 'exactly' above it, and they are done. That is all the emotion and thought that they put into it. This is why I call those that use social media to passively aggressively vent, cowards. They invest about as much emotion into their venting as I do when I clip my toenails. 

I feel sorry for the young adults that have been raised by the internet. They are not ready for the real world and in some cases, they are going to get a rude education really quickly. Hopefully they don't think that they get to hit reset and try again, because in real life, you only get one shot so you had better make the best of it. 

This is where I am at now. I am restructuring my life and focusing on me. For those of you, fans, friends and family, that have stuck at my side during my long months of silence, Thank you. For those that took my silence as shunning or worse, call me or walk away, but get off the 'share' button, it's getting old.  

As always, I am still working on bringing you all the very best in reading entertainment. I have been stalled in the remake of my cook book, as I do not presently have a home of my own. However, it will be done before Christmas. I am looking into audio books and hope to have some of those available within the year. Otherwise, I still have downloadable books that work on your phone, pad or computer and the first chapter is always free... so please check them out and as always, live well and be good to each other.

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